Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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