I swear she didn't look like that last week.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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