ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
