Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
