you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
