Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
