Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize