how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
