garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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