I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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