I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
