first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
