my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
