Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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