Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
