dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
