the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
