I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
