I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
