i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
