You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
