Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
