If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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