I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
