We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
