she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
