TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
