dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
