You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
