In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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