he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
