i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
