i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Is it penis luge time yet?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
