so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
