I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
