Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So much Jack, so little girl.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
