Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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