don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize