let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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