we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
