How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she pinky promised me she was 18
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
