So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
