Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
