dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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