I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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