If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
