i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
