I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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