Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
