Duck Duck Cougar?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
