Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
