I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
