We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
