took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
