But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
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