great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
