I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize