apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
