does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
