So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
